April 6th, 1953 – Following are excerpts from an exclusive KTAR interview with J. Howard Pyle and the CEO and Founder of Mengel’s Miniatures, Joseph Mengel.
JHP: Dr. Mengel, can you tell us what Mengel’s Miniatures represents?
JM: Yes, of course. It represents freedom. It represents fathers at baseball games. A work-day that ends when you walk in the door. It represents food on the table, homework done, a house in good repair, a family. A family together. It represents The American Dream.
JHP: At your core, you claim to be a service industry, but many have equated your business to slavery. Can you comment on that?
JM: The courts have spoken on our behalf in that matter. The President himself is one of our gracious customers. People just need to remember, these aren’t humans, or even individuals, they are you, in the palm of your hand.
JHP: Yes, but people have claimed their miniatures think and feel and exhibit all the qualities that we understand as human. Does that not make them human?
JM: Of course not, our miniatures are trained, perhaps too well, to make their masters feel as comfortable as possible. If that makes people feel empathy it only means, we have done our job well. At our heart we are here to serve, as are the miniatures. To make lives better and more meaningful. We want to make America great again, and our miniatures are the first step in that direction. We will give people the means to give themselves back The American Dream.
JHP: You talk a lot of America, but you yourself are not American. We also heard a rumor that a miniature of The Fuhrer himself is in charge of training these miniatures? Can you confirm or deny this?
JM: Well, yes, to understand you must have a little history. The Fuhrer was obsessed with creating an army of clones. He himself provided the genetic material for our first miniature. His intention was to create a full sized army. However, the technology can only produce clones up to fifteen centimeters tall. Past that, they die very soon. The Fuhrer scrapped the program but his miniature became an integral part of what allowed us to win the war. It acted as a spy and courier for the allied forces and single handedly brought information that ended the war. So, does the miniature of The Fuhrer still exist? Yes. Does he look like the Fuhrer? Yes. But, he is quite the opposite, he is a soldier, a patriot, he is a true American Hero.
JHP: Doctor Mengel, it has been a pleasure to chat with you here on KTAR radio. I encourage listeners to get out and enjoy life and if you just can’t find the time, order yourself a miniature, or two:
Catch up on the story of Gerald Ford’s Miniatures here: