A Giant Floating Ball of Dicks


It’s late. I watch my friends argue. It is a cool night, a bit wet; windows wide. I consider killing myself in the morning.

“He’s a Dick,” L insists, lighting a joint.

B shrugs, “Everyone is a dick in one way or another”

L nods taking a long hit. He looks up at the ceiling, blows. The smoke pools, listens a moment, rolls it’s eyes and leaves.

L watches it go. He frowns. “Do you think that means if Buddhism is right and we are all god that god is just a giant floating ball of dicks?” He passes me the joint, aggressively.

B is glaring at L. “Where the hell did you learn about Buddhism?” he cries.

“In philosophy class,” L shrugs.

I take a hit of the joint. I cough and gag.

“Oh! philosophy is bullshit,” B snaps.

L hits his hand on the table. “Philosophy is the study of life!” he proclaims.

“That’s damn absurd, absurd, absurd,” B insists.

I watch L settle his hand on the table. He taps with two fingers, calming himself. “Life is absurd,” he decides, looking a bit sad.

“No, life has meaning,” B points out, finding his way back to the joint.

L frowns, “being absurd doesn’t mean something is meaningless, just silly.”

“Right,” B nods, “philosophy is silly, life is silly, it’s all silly. A giant floating ball of dicks.”

That settles it; they are silent. B closes his eyes, bobbing his head to the smell of tires tearing through wet asphalt outside.

L is nodding, “a giant floating ball of dicks,” he whispers, then smiles, knowingly.

I look from B, to L. They are perfectly at peace. I look to the joint burning a hole in the placemat. I pick it up, take a hit.

I cough and gag.

“I’m going to bed.”

23 replies to “A Giant Floating Ball of Dicks

      1. I don’t see any attempt at being shocking. ’tis a fine story, I don’t think it’s relevant that this kind of conversation is familiar to you or not. It has Flash’s (The Incredible Flash, Flash McQueen, Daily Flasher???) usual thing of being almost profound. Like it’s teetering on the edge of something great, but – you can’t quite figure out if it actually means what you think it means. It’s good stuff. This is one of the least meh stories.
        For comparison I’ll accuse the 5 ‘Leshy’ stories of being meh; they’re catchier, but lack exactly what this story has – the quasi-philosophy.

        What I do find to be sorely disappointing is the missing drawing of a giant floating ball of dicks.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Haha, thank you very much. I write a lot of times to try and capture how I feel. I often have that feeling that some great answer is just on the other side of a conversation or situation. And I’m always trying to reach for it. Nikita does all the drawings and when I saw the one he posted I burst out laughing in public (which in Russia gets you quite a few looks). He is in Kaliningrad right now so we have only been communicating by me putting up the story and then him posting the picture when he finishes. I had no idea what he was going to do but as disappointed as I was in not seeing his floating ball of dicks, I was very happy to have a good long laugh. Thank you for commenting. You put into words what I couldn’t. That is the exact thing I am always looking for with stories like this. For myself, and others.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Also, the subject matter is a bit childish. But I am always fascinated by how profound people think they are while just sitting around getting high. And I want to know if there is anything profound in it. Or if it is just nonsense. I’m still not sure but I’m curious. I don’t smoke anymore but I see it all the time and I always wonder if there is something there or if everyone is just stoned and it is all nonsense. Is there something in a stupid idea like god as a giant floating ball of dicks that actually has any sort of meaning…or is it just childish drug induced foolishness. I’m not sure.


      1. I don’t smoke weed anymore … but have stoner ‘comrades’ lol … that think they are most profound after a doobie … like not just a little profound … but Einstein profound!
        It’s usually at that point I grab myself some pop corn and a cuppa and sit in for the ensuing comedy … It’s better than TV! 😉


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