Robot Nipples

We’ve been standing at the window of the hotel for fifteen minutes. “Those two towers over there look like boobs.” “What?” my brother asks. I look away, “nothing,” I mumble. “You’re twenty-eight.” “I know.” “Really.” I sigh. “I miss my girlfriend.” He shakes his head, “no excuse.” I take out an electronic cigarette, puff away. We continue looking out the window; Ohio. Even the sky … Continue reading Robot Nipples

There is No Such Thing as a Grown Up

We stop in Ohio at what claims to be the largest antique mall in America. Though, in America, anything claiming to be the largest of anything should be taken with the largest grain of salt. My brother and I finish perusing and loiter around the check-out counter while the woman wraps up a deck of cards for me. There are two big-old buffalo heads mounted … Continue reading There is No Such Thing as a Grown Up

The Second Coming of Christ’s First Day on the Job

Before THE END TIMES, before the election, before THE PR TEAM got ahold of him, The Second Coming of Christ was born. Ten minutes before that, Doctor Rosedale-Grosse sped down ROUTE 23. The disgraced Doctor, who gained notoriety for his book “301 Disorders You Knew Existed but Couldn’t Quite Put Your Finger On,” and infamy for his book, “The View From The window of Your … Continue reading The Second Coming of Christ’s First Day on the Job

Sticky post

The Meaning of Life on the Inside of a Dark Chocolate Wrapper

  **A friend asked me if I ever write erotica. I said no, but decided to give it my best shot anyways… Samantha sat over a cup of soft coffee, pondering the meaning of life; there were charts, tables, graphs, quotes, poems, and even the wrapper for a bar of dark chocolate. Samantha sighed. She turned. A man stood in her door. Half of her … Continue reading The Meaning of Life on the Inside of a Dark Chocolate Wrapper

Some Days, the Shoe Fits

N and I sit on the couch. He is skyping V. I am smoking. He says something in Russian, I catch all but a word. “Poetry?” I ask. He shakes his head. “Dress.” “You’re telling people I like wearing dresses?” He nods. “Hey. Dresses are comfortable and everyone looks good in a dress,” I say, defensively. “I know,” he says, patting my shoulder. “I know.” … Continue reading Some Days, the Shoe Fits