I remember the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember when. I don’t remember why. I do remember where; Minneapolis, Minnesota.
There was a girl. We met in Maine. We met again two years later in Massachusetts. She moved to Minnesota in that phase after a first kiss when colors vibrate and whistle tunes.
I worked two jobs for two months. I bought a flight to Minneapolis. I told her I loved her. She took me to a rave with her friends. It was a Friday. The music was loud, so loud it made my bones ache. I sat in a corner drawing cartoons on coasters. She danced. I left for a cigarette. It was cold; late fall, maybe. The lights were on in a bar across the street.
I don’t remember crossing the road. I remember sitting at the bar. It was light there. The bartender made me a gin and tonic; fast, cheap and watered down, with a dry lime.
A musician with a rag of hair in green sunglasses played cover-tunes on a corner-platform.
A man made of cut-off sleeves of old T-shirts and unwashed beer cans stumbled around on the floor. He cried out the words to “Sweet Caroline.” He sounded like a lost child in the grocery store. All of him danced. His fingers played two guitars, his feet stepped on two different sets of phantom toes and his eyes did the waltz. He was the happiest man in the world.
Then a sound broke through the music. A sound that would make you run, alone in the woods. A woman, made entirely of week old bread and wet ash-trays leapt onto the floor. She had a mole on her left temple. She stumbled into the man. Her wild hair met his camouflage hat and fell in love. They regained their composure and fell into a bestial jig. She fell left, him right. They complimented each other like yin and yang in a blender.
I watched as they both howled out “Bap-Bap-Bah!” into the air. The man in green sunglasses upped his game. He played louder, sang harder. People in the bar began to clap. I did too, forgetting my gin and tonic. The pair on the floor swung each other around. The man dipped the woman and dropped her on her ass. She wriggled around on the ground. The man stood above her shaking his butt, lower, and lower. She spanked it. He howled. He turned and pulled her up off the ground. They both came in close, singing into each other’s invisible microphones. Then, they spread their arms wide as the last verse died, their pot bellies kissing for the first and last time.
The song ended. The bar cheered. The man and woman high-fived. The woman went back to her table of friends. The man slumped into a nearby booth.
Someone touched my arm. The girl I was there to see looked at the scene, then at me.
“What are you doing in here?” she asked.
I opened my mouth. I closed it. She grabbed me by the hand and dragged me out of the bar. I stared across the street at the concert hall. A hoard of high-heels and hair-gel are smoking outside of it.
“You go ahead. I’ll be in soon,” I told her. She shrugged and dashed off. I sat down on the curb and lit a cigarette. I took a breath and began to cry.
I enjoyed this very much.
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I will never get tired of hearing that. Thank you. This is one of the stories I’m most proud of.
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Definitely a fascinating encounter.
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haha yes, it certainly was
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“She stumbled into the man. Her wild hair met his camouflage hat and fell in love. They regained their composure and fell into a bestial jig. She fell left, him right. They complimented each other like yin and yang in a blender”
Fantastic. And you really have to be in the right, unexpected low-down bar to see true love like this~~
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Absolutely. I’m glad you like it. I’ve wanted to write this story for years but never found the right words till yesterday.
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I wonder if he wept because he questioned or knew that the love between him and the rave girl was not something he thought was real as the couple he saw dancing on the floor.
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I think that is certainly part of it. If not all of it. Either way it is my favorite interpretation, thank you.
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You’re welcome
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Dance like no one’s watching – even if they are.
The bar made him happy – the rave made him…cry. Did he even know who HE was before that moment?
NICE!
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Haha I’m pretty sure he did not. It’s weird the moments where life decides to remind you of that.
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Amazing! Nice word usage and structure
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Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ve had this story in my head a long time. I’m glad it came out well.
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The beauty of getting behind is having so much to look forward to. This is tremendous, Flash, such humanity in one short…flash. 🙂
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I’m glad it came off well. Been trying to write this one for a while
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Hey, totally enjoyed it… Salutations to your choice of words, like yin and yang in a blender 🙂
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Haha, thanks. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going with it. Everything just sort of flowed and I rolled with it. Glad it came out well. I was reading a lot of Marquez when I wrote it.
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Hey, that is how a good piece always comes out.. only when it wants to, in free flow, not when we will it. 🙂
Interesting. Can you suggest me a Marquez to start with?
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I started with a few of his short stories. They are fantastic. Then I moved onto 100 years of solitude. But everyone keeps telling me I have to read love in the time of cholera. So I’ll get to that soon. But you can find some of his short stories online for free. I’d say start there.
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Thanks for shedding light.. I will do that. 🙂
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Wow, fantastic stuff. That was remarkable.
The ending is spot on and inevitable. The guy has just learned the unwelcome news that the woman he came for is not a woman he’s in love with. But at the same time, it redemptive because realizing this, he can start anew. He didn’t make any horrid mistakes, he’s learning it and can grow from it.
At least, that was my interpretation. Regardless, this was a great read. Well done.
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Yeah, that is a spot on interpretation of it. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’d occasionally wake up with this story in my head for the past few years but only recently sat down and managed to get out a version I was happy with.
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Absolutely!
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Clear, simple and surprisingly profound.
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Thank you. This one is close to my heart so that means a lot.
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I can tell. This passage is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. Actually, do you mind if I repost it on my blog, Outlet as a shoutout to you?
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Of course. We just want to entertain. The more the better.
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Shared on my FB page. Interesting. Made me think. Made me want to write.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s one of my more personal stories. It’s a true story. I always remember it late at night and I decided to try and write it. I’m happy it came out alright. Feel free to share it wherever you’d like, thank you.
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Nice, very nice.
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Thank you very much. This story was on my mind for a long time. I’m glad it came out well.
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Beautiful writing.
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Thank you very much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Read it when I’m high, pretty awesome I should say. Great Scott
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Haha fantastic. I hope it is equally enjoyable on all substances. Thanks for reading.
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Reblogged this on JAMES DANIEL BLOG .
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My love has damned the very idea of love so now tearss have abandoned me and allis a till it lasts
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I don’t know what kind of browsing I was doing when I stumbled upon your work. Thank you. 🙂
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Haha me either, but I’m glad you did.
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Amazing work. Your use of language is so thought-provoking. Can’t wait to read more.
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Thank you. That is always wonderful to hear. I was trying out a bit of new style with this one and it seemed to have come across well.
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Hopefully the rest of my work doesn’t disappoint
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Thanks for writing and sharing. I am glad you decided to put it into words; wonderful words!
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Thanks for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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💙💙
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Loved this blog!!!!
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Thank you. We are trying our best to make it the best it can be. Glad you like it.
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Nice one
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Thank you
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What a beautiful piece of work! I’m a believer of true love and how it works magic around two people! Good choice of words. There is a beautiful flow in it. 😃
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Thank you very much. I’m happy you enjoyed it.
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Did this really happen? I suppose it doesn’t really matter, but I was curious…. I think I’ve seen these same two people before, on numerous nights out, in different cities. Loved the way you described them.
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Actually yes. This is a true story. Shortened, of course. I always remembered it as the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I was recently talking about it to my brother and thought I’d try to write it down.
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He knew who he was but was only looking for a missing part of himself. I guess some of us have already found it and some are still searching for it.
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Very true. Nice analysis. Thanks for reading.
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Your creation and manipulation of atmosphere is breathtakingly profound. Loved it!
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wow. thank you so much. Lovely compliment. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Interesting story. Loved it .
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Thank you. I’m glad, I hope you enjoy the rest of our work as well. It’s a variety. Hopefully most of it is good.
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Great writing! Thanks.
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“Yin and yang in a blender” 😂😂😂 this is top notch! I love your observations xo
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Thanks. I’m glad I could capture some of what it felt like to see this.
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Awesomesauce. Worth reading!
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Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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“All of him danced”. What an incredible line. Thank you for sharing this. It was a joy to read.
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Thank you for reading. That’s my favorite line too.
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Indeed the most beautiful thing
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so great!
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Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Loved it
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Thank you very much
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I really loved this. Its so good. Keep writing 🙂
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Thanks, I plan to. At least until our challenge is over.
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A very nice story. However, I am not able to understand why he cried.
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I’m glad you thought it was nice. If you check some of the early comments, people have some pretty solid theories as to why he cried. Just in the first fifteen or so, I’m pretty sure.
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I went through the comments and there are few theories about why the guy cried. I may make a fool out of myself, but I think he cried because eventually everyone leaves – the dancing duo in bar and the woman, who came looking for him in the bar.
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That could be it. I prefer to let readers decide why. The truth is, I was overwhelmed and happy in that bar and felt comfortable. Then I was dragged away from it and the prospect of going back into a loud club full of dressed up teenagers seemed impossible in the moment.
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Wow, the imagery in this story was beautiful. I saw these characters so clearly. Just wow.
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Thank you very much. That means a lot. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Reblogged this on ToNarnia and commented:
Wow
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That was so fucking beautiful
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Haha, thank you very much. That is a fantastic reaction. Cheers.
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This is beautifully written. I’ll be stopping by for more.
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Thanks, we are glad to hear it. Our goal is to always entertain.
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Im not sure why I feel sad for him, I wanted to know more. 😑 Why did he cry? Overall great story. ❤️
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because he saw something truly beautiful and full of love and he realized he didn’t love the girl he’d done all this to see.
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I loved the writing. It’s so very vivid. The snatches of our daily lives!
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Haha thank you very much. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Hope you like the rest of our work
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I have been reading them! 🙂 Impressive.
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Nice
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Thank you
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You absolutely transported me to that bar, and that dancing couple, from here on my sunny daybed in Australia, where my palm trees are swaying in the Autumn breeze. So visceral & poignant, thank you SO much for writing it at last! You did such a good job, & it was worth waiting for, just like Love ❤️
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That’s a fantastic compliment. Thank you. I’m really glad you enjoyed it. It’s one of my more personal pieces.
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I still don’t really understand why things like this get me. But it did so thanks, really amazing writing!
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Haha thank you very much. I never know why things strike me the right way either. But I enjoy when they do and I’m glad you enjoyed this.
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I was listening to a podcast yesterday that was talking about how finding the right ending to a short story is about finding the one that takes you to the right emotional destination. That was definitely the case for this one. I loved it!
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Thank you. I’m glad it hit home. I just sort of wrote it without thinking. Just trying to capture how it felt. It’s nice to hear that I accomplished something.
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Nice
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Thank you!
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True
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Hdbdjs
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Hdbdjs to you too
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😂
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Great story!
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Thank you, that means a lot.
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