You Could Kidnap Spiderman if You Wanted To

Ed leans against the bathroom stall. He knocks. “Yes!” Ed’s student calls out from the other side, in Chinese. “Spiderman?” Ed asks. “Yes!” “How old are you?” There is a pause. I light a cigarette; Ed too. “Yes!” I frown. “His name is Spider-Man?” Ed shrugs. “I guess. They let them pick their names.” “So what’s his real name?” Ed looks at the stall. “Spider-Man! … Continue reading You Could Kidnap Spiderman if You Wanted To

What Jerry Had to Say About the Meaning of Life

My boss walks into the teacher’s room. “Essay day!” she calls. All the teachers, myself included, groan. She puts a fat stack of hot paper on the communal desk. My first class is a pile of pimples, pit-hair and angst. Middle school is the worst, I think, taking a mirror from the girl in the front row as I walk in. I pull out the … Continue reading What Jerry Had to Say About the Meaning of Life

It’s All in the Way You Wipe

I walk through the palace foyer, a satchel around my neck full of notecards; a pair of scissors spinning around one finger. I’m on my way to tutor the Tsar’s daughter. Along one wall, a batch of well-dressed aristocratic women eye me. They giggle. As I pass I hear one whisper, “Those are scissors!” The others gasp. One, in a mauve bonnet looks closer as … Continue reading It’s All in the Way You Wipe