Dancing to the Death of Beauty

Drug dealers only ever offer me cocaine. We are in Portugal, an old man grabs my arm, he smiles, his teeth are black. “What?” “Cocaine-ah?” “Why would you offer me cocaine? You have offered everyone else here Hashish but yet you offer me cocaine? I don’t think I look like I like cocaine.” “You do kind of look like you like cocaine,” Hank says, standing … Continue reading Dancing to the Death of Beauty

The Safest Summer Camp in the World: The End

*Part 7 and final part of The Safest Summer Camp in the World. If you haven’t read other parts, click HERE. I didn’t sleep all last night. I was confused, but mostly impressed with myself for understanding so much of what went on in Russian. S wakes me up in the morning. He looks sad. “Today we go home.” I sit up. “What is K … Continue reading The Safest Summer Camp in the World: The End

The Safest Summer Camp in the World 5

*Part 5 of The Safest Summer Camp in the World. If you haven’t caught up, click HERE. It’s been half a week now. We went to the Zoo in Helsinki yesterday, so no one died. After dinner every night, the kids all gather while K tallies the number of deaths each person has and gives out rewards for creativity. It seems everyone is at four … Continue reading The Safest Summer Camp in the World 5

The Safest Summer Camp in the World 4

*Part 4/7 of The Safest Summer Camp in the World. If you haven’t caught up, click HERE. Over the past day I’ve gotten to know the kids a bit better. Most come from well-off paranoid families. K finds me at night. “The kids really like you,” he says. ” I nod, “good.” “Yes, they said you electrocuted yourself on the fence. That’s good!” I shrug. … Continue reading The Safest Summer Camp in the World 4

The Safest Summer Camp in the World

  The summer camp I was hired to work at looks like every summer camp from every movie I’ve ever seen just before everyone gets murdered by one urban legend or another; except in Finland. And Finland looks like a topographical map I made in the seventh grade. On the five hour bus ride from St. Petersburg, Russia to the middle of Where-The-Fuck, Finland, I … Continue reading The Safest Summer Camp in the World

A Baby? Some Groceries? Maybe Drugs…

I shouldn’t have worn a hat. You never can trust the weather here, though. I am listening to Prince. A Babushka eyes my hat suspiciously as she rolls by. She is wearing a raspberry beret; the kind you’d find at a second hand store. Life is weird, I think. Up ahead, a man is trying to find the sidewalk. He swoops left, then right. He … Continue reading A Baby? Some Groceries? Maybe Drugs…

The Walk: The Biker with Her Mouth Full

I woke this morning with a headache that had already grown up and learned how to say “coffee.” The camp I’ve been counseling at, being mostly filled with children, understandably, had none.┬áSo, I’ve been walking for thirty minutes now. The sun is still out. It would be a record if I were back in St. Petersburg. After stopping at a shop that turned out to … Continue reading The Walk: The Biker with Her Mouth Full