When the Cock Crows

cock_crows

Taking a break from city life I meander through a small village north of St. Petersburg. Passing a graveyard on my right I notice a man crouched over a small flame. I approach him.

“Young man, share my warmth?”

I shrug. I go and sit down.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, in Russian.

“Sorry, my Russian is poor, do you speak English,” I try.

He nods, smiling.

“American?” he asks.

I nod.

“Traveling?”

I shake my head. “I live here.”

He frowns. “Why would you move to Russia?”

I sigh. “I just like it here.”

He stares at me a moment. His eyes are so dark, they stink.

“Uh-huh,” he manages.

I light a cigarette and look into the flames.

“Want to go to a wedding?”

I look up. “Huh?”

“A wedding. In the center there is a wedding, would you like to join me?”

“Why not,” I say standing up.

We make our way into town. The central square is filled with merriment. People dancing, singling, drinking. We join in the festivities and get very drunk. The man from the graveyard grows angry. He begins harassing the townsfolk, driving many guests away. When the party has fallen to only a few, he turns to me.

“Wait here,” he tells me. He walks to where the newlyweds lay. He pulls a needed and pricks each just below the ankle and drains them of blood. He drinks until his face is flush. I look on in drunken apathy, almost curious.

He comes back to me.

“Wha–what’d you just do?” I ask.

“I have consumed them. I am a vampire. In the morning they shall not wake lest someone were to take my blood and place three drops on each of their lips.”

“Uh-huh?”

“But that shall not happen, come, I must get back to my home before the cock and crow. I start walking then stop. Something is scratching at the inside of my ribs.

The vampire turns.

“What is wrong?”

I cough a little and shake my head. “Nothing, nothing. I am drunk.”

The Vampire frowns. “Well, let’s go, if I do not beat the cock, I will become nothing but ash.”

I stumble a little. Something tickles the back of my throat. I close my eyes.

“If you make me meet the cock,” The Vampire growls, “you shall regret it!”

I keel over. From my mouth a hand protrudes.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” The vampire cries, backing away. I vomit up the rest of the twelve year old boy who proceeds to burst into laughter. It echoes around the village.

The vampire looks on in horror.

“I’m so sorry,” I mumble, aching in the dirt.

The cock crows.

** I wanted to try a bit of a mash up. Anyone who has read The Big Beautiful Cock will see the base material. I’ve been reading a lot of Russian fairy tales involving Vampires and they are styled a lot like this. I wanted to do some fairy tale/magical realism/comedy mash up. Hope you enjoyed it.

 

The Cock Goes “Marf Marf Marf”

The preschool had a Christmas play. At the end, Russian Santa gave the students all a bag of gifts. I am sitting in the play-room as the children riffle through their bags.

A small boy named H, who speaks English well, walks up to me holding a fake chicken.

“Marf-marf-marf,” he says, poking me with the beak of the toy chicken. It is actually rather sharp. And, it actually rather hurts.

“Stop that H. That isn’t the sound it makes.”

“Yes, it is. Marf-marf-marf.” He begins stabbing me once more.

“No, chickens go cluck-cluck.”

“Not a chicken,” H says, “it’s a cock.”

I feel a tickle in my throat. I cough. It’s only been a couple weeks since the incident. I try to avert catastrophe. It’s not even a rooster this time.

“Okay, yes, a cock. Good, go play with your—“ I feel myself smiling. I force a frown.

The pressure in my chest increases.

“My cock? Marf-marf-marf” H says.

“Mhm” I manage. I can feel a wiggling in my throat like a stuck cough drop.

“You play with my cock with me?”

I shake my head vigorously.

The lump in my throat grows bigger. I feel like I am chocking. H starts stabbing me with the fake chicken again.

“My cock is biting you. Marf-marf-marf!”

I open my mouth to tell him to stop but instead the sopping wet bloody head of a twelve-year-old boy forces itself out past my lips. It tastes of iron.

It bursts out laughing.

Strings of its hair are stuck in my two front teeth. H is staring at me. Horror in his eyes. I panic. I chomp down. The head falls to the floor. It doesn’t stop laughing. I scoop it up and put my hand over its mouth. It starts licking my hand. I hold it tight to my chest.

I look at H. He is crying. I put a bloody finger to my lips.

“Shh.” I tell him. I stand up and make for the door. A teacher opens it.

“Oh, Hello,” she says smiling.

“Hi.”

“Did you see Santa Clause brought all the students cocks?”

The head wriggles between my fingers. The teacher looks down at my blood-soaked hands.

“What is that!” she asks. I open my hands guiltily.

The laughter rings around the room.

THE END

This story is a sequel of sorts to The Big Beautiful Cock. Click the picture below to check it out:

rooster