Y’s First Hangover

Every time I wake up dry-lipped, searching around in the dark for recent memories, I take a breath–open my phone, and start looking desperately for hangover cures.

This morning I opened my phone and paused–I’ve done this before, I thought. I closed my phone, then my eyes before falling asleep thinking; I’ve grown.

A few hours later I’m awoken by someone pushing at my arm.

“Everything hurts!” Y moans.

I try to nod but can’t manage it. “Mhm–” I say instead.

There is more moaning, groaning and arm pushing.

“What?”

“Why does everything hurt!”

I open my eyes, Y has a pillow pressed over her face.

“We drank too much, it’s a hangover.”

She rolls over, “uh-uh, a hangover is when you have a headache.”

“You’re getting old,” I tell her. She rolls back, glaring.

“You’re fucking old,” she reminds me.

I laugh. It hurts. She cradles herself, closes her eyes. “I can’t decide what hurts more…my legs.”

She rubs at her legs then falls back. “No, my arms.”

She holds up one arm, hand hanging off a limp wrist. “My body is just one bag full of shit—sorry for the details—my body is just full of—very shit—liquid shit, dog shit! You can’t do anything—or form anything, like liquid snow, you can’t do anything! Look at my hand.”

She wiggles her hand in front of my face, I try to watch it but start feeling sick. She lets it fall, groaning, “I cannot hold it up. My hands—my legs, my head it’s all formless dog shit!—ew, just talking to you I want to throw up, no—not because it’s you…you’re…nice.”

She reaches over to try and stroke my face lovingly but instead manages to poke me in the eye.

“Ah!”

“Sorry.” She tries again, this time her hand falls short onto the pillow beside.

Somewhere a phone alarm starts going off. Y groans.

“Don’t you have work today?” I ask, remembering.

“No.”

I frown, “I think you do.”

“No,” she repeats, firmer.

I want to check the time, but don’t. Instead I ask, “when do you have work then?”

“I don’t” she whispers, drifting off.

I want to argue, I try, “I think you do.”

She rolls over, “I don’t have to do anything when I feel like this.”

My mouth feels as heavy as my eyes. It’s no use.

I drift off, gently reminding myself that there is no god, because if there were, amount of responsibility and severity of hangovers certainly wouldn’t be walking through life hand-in-hand.

 

 

 

27 Comments

  1. hahaha … I had to laugh heartily, even if such hangovers are certainly not to laugh. But it reminded me of oliver hardy and stan laurel. But moaning together feels better. Surely you just layed down again and have slept again?
    But still a very important conclusion, which suggests that it is actually a question of bigger problems than a cheerful hangover.The picture strengthen my suspicion….it´s more a wolf than a cat…exellent illustration!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay – please tell me what Y stands for ?
    And such a great post.
    Hangovers are serious business – and the IV therapy used in Vegas is now making it everywhere – and is supposed to work great for hangovers-
    Oh and activated charcoal helps too (per bulletproof guy)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha yeah when I was living in Korea there were people I knew who would drink all night then go to the hospital for IVs in the morning before work. Crazy place. I never tried but I was certainly curious. Y is my girlfriend. I think Marvel meant that in this story she is like Y when she is hungover. All of my characters who are based on real people just have letters for names. N is Nikita (the artist for this project) and Y is (yulya) who does all the translations into Russian under translations. Today is our last day on this project so I will make a post that gives a bit more insight into the characters. I’m glad you liked the story.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh thanks for the nice reply – and congrats on wrapping up the project – very cool and glad to join in for some of the posts and now at the end – and yulya is a cool name

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thanks, it’s the Russian version of ‘Julia’. We live in St. Petersburg. I’m glad we could entertain you for a bit and thanks for commenting and letting us know when we were doing things well.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Well I wish I could have come back more – (only so much time for blogging). But glad for the visits I did have-
        And Julia is purdy too – anyhow – are you all exhausted from this year long challenge ?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. haha Yes! very much so. It’s so strange not having to worry about it today. But also we don’t have long to breathe. We have to get the completed manuscript of our book the the publisher by the end of this month and we were invited to contribute to an anthology of stories and Nikita may design their cover for them and we have to start working on some comics to be released in December. We also have a festival we might participate in this Friday which is a bit unique, Nikita will draw one of the stories onto a projector reel and I will do a live reading as it goes through. It’s a lot. Plus Nikita is a graphic designer and my workload just increased exponentially so…yeah haha, exhausted but can’t rest yet…someday. Haha and I’m sure Julia will be happy to hear it.

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Oh wow that is busy – but wonderfully busy and best wishes with each of those fun things to do 🔴😅 momentum is swinging – enjoy – (and hope u both don’t Neglect healing sleep)

        Like

      1. well I´m still here and also had no hangovers for months….I´ll read all the stories I missed, and hopefully you´ll be there time by time, in case I have some questions left?…and yes, don´t ask I changed again…; )

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Of course, we’re still here. We’re just taking a break and figuring out our next steps but I still check wordpress and will be able to answer any questions you have. haha yes, I see.

        Liked by 1 person

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