I was alone and it was Friday; didn’t seem like good enough reasons to go hungry. I headed down to the buffet a little early; beat the crowd. But, beating the crowd in Vegas has a definition all its own, so I sat down with a man in a vest. I hadn’t sat down next to someone in a vest since my brother’s wedding, but it happens.
“What do you do?” he asked me, nameless.
I finished my bite of lamb-chops, swallowed. “I’m a researcher, studying gambling addiction,” I told him, not wanting to make a conversation of it. “You?” I added.
“Club owner,” he said through a mouth of shrimp.
I nodded, glad to have solved the mystery of the vest. He passed me a card.
“You should check it out.”
I looked down at the card. I frowned.
“What the hell is an anti-strip club?” I asked. “Sorry,” I said, noting his look, “I just haven’t ever heard of that before.”
He smiled, then laughed. “That’s because I invented it.”
“Cool.” He looked too proud for me to not praise it, though I hadn’t yet heard what it was. He got up to get more food. I examined the card more, trying to glean some clues as to what it might mean. I got nothing. It was plain white, egg shelled, an address, a number, a name; Mel’s Anti-Strip Club.
He came back with a plate of gravy-drowned prime rib.
“So, you’re Mel?” I asked.
He laughed and some gravy got onto his lip. He didn’t wipe it off. “I’m John, but John’s Anti-Strip Club didn’t have a ring to it, so–there you have it.”
I smiled, pocketed the card. Too embarrassed to ask more, I finished my meal and left. I was in my room for an hour before curiosity got the better of me. I took a taxi. It was off the strip a bit. The sign was modern, a video screen. John was on it; one thumb, one finger gun.
I went in. I don’t know what I expected. It was like any strip club I’d been in; drunks, perverts, cat calls, men looking in dark corners for the glory of younger days. I sat down anyways. It wasn’t long before music came on, something 80s. The woman came out. She was young–younger than me but not young enough to be my daughter; so that was something, at least. It took me a minute to realize what was odd; she was completely naked.
She began to dance. She danced in the way a piece of asparagus falls on the ground, but sexier.
The men hollered and started throwing things. At first I thought it was money. But I soon realized, to my surprise; it was clothing. The girl on stage caught some in mid-air. Others, she picked up as she danced.
Then, piece by piece, she started putting it on; a few pairs of panties, some boxers, a skirt, two pairs of pants, a jean and leather jacket, and finally, two different camouflage hats. The crowd roared as she danced–stumbled her way off the stage.
The song ended and everyone cheered. I turned to the man beside me. He was clapping along with the rest. Beside him was a rucksack full of what I then realized was various articles of clothing.
He saw me looking, patted me on the shoulder.
“Beats the hell outta’ Salvation Army eh?”
I tried to nod, but only managed to find myself walking toward the door muttering something about Vegas.
Did this really happen or was this a story? I am heading to Vegas soon I think I would find this strip club fascinating!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha sorry no I just made it up. I wouldn’t certainly be curious to see a place like this if they ever existed
LikeLike
You don’t have to be sorry about having made it up it’s a great story I’m just sorry I won’t get to go there LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
What’s this? hahaha, I’m sorry, that I always have to laugh. It is just always so incredibly crazy at first sight .
Very good with many profound sentences and / or funny phrases. What a brilliant invention this anti-strip club. Who likes to go to a strip club? But an anti-strip club is a good thing. Get rid of the old image and a new one ….. yes healing arms … we even help, but keep the most important thing, the naked woman, just twisted order ….. twisted like!
I have to ponder my favorite saying of Pippi Longstocking “I make the world, as I like it” I believe…. once again go through the head.
She danced in the way a piece of asparagus falls on the ground, but sexier …. we had something similar in an older story … she danced like a brick as falling in a boat … or something like that ….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha I am glad you enjoyed it. Also I never read any pippi longstocking as a kid but she sounds quite profound. And yeah I think you’re right. In the story “the party of today” but I can’t remember exactly what was in there
LikeLiked by 1 person
Astrid Lindgren is one of my favorit childrenbookauthors. Pippi is fun,for me, her slogan was always a great example….but here, with you I realize, that this slogan does not work always….there can be born things like anti-strip-clubs…: )
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha yes, there is no telling what people are likely to create
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wanted to reread “the party of today” but could not find it, do you know the date?… I think it was a street party, a woman spilled the beer and danced around a cute, curled child, in a strange way … you observed it from a restaurant?
LikeLiked by 1 person
yeah, I think it was some time in June. on the left hand side of the website there is a search bar where you can look for specific stories.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ohh god to know, thank you….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope it came through, that I really think such an ati-strip-club is totally weak-minded….just watching the film of stripping girl backwards and create the right to make the opposite in naming.But a really grandios,cheap idea, Flash!
LikeLike
Hahaha the weird thing is this could probably be a thing.
P.S I laughed pretty good at the dancing like asparagus part.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha yeah I think it probably will be someday. Who knows, there are so many absurd ideas and businesses out there these days. I’m glad you enjoyed it
LikeLiked by 2 people
This was really nice 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much, glad you liked it.
LikeLike
Your imagination is a wonder to behold. ☺☺☺
LikeLiked by 1 person
PS For a long time it has been on my mind that your characters with close relationship to the protagonist (and paticularly familial characters) reminds me of the dialogue in Dave Eggers *A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius*.
Unless you hate him – then you sound nothing like that bastard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha thank you. Honestly I only ever read his forward to infinite jest then, honestly didn’t get all the way through infinite jest. But from the forward I did but one of his books but I haven’t been home since. If you’d recommend him I’ll see if I can find a copy of something of his here in russia. Or maybe online.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve only read the expert from A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, but what I read was just….bliss: great black humor, brutal sadness, complicated relationships… You can find the excerpt online.
Also, who the hell *could* get through DFW masturbatory (as my mother described it)Infinite Jest?? Loved all his essays, though, especially Trip to the Fair (in the Atlantic, I think) and his essay on tennis great Federer. Glorious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha yeah I have read and enjoyed a couple of his essays and shorter works. I haven’t read trip to the fair though. I will find it and I will look for some Eggers. An excerpt if I can’t find a full book.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha thank you. I think this came to mind while I was in Vegas. It is just such a strange place. It made me so curious as to what might be hiding around all the corners I didn’t check.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Superb. Great concept, great writing and just a cool story. The line “She danced in the way a piece of asparagus falls on the ground, but sexier” could be the funniest and most-weirdly-perfect line I’ve ever read!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha thank you. I’m really glad I could make you laugh and happy you enjoyed the story. It was a really random idea.
LikeLiked by 1 person
From my experience those are generally the best ones!
LikeLiked by 2 people