What I Tell my Cat in the Middle of the Night

cat_super

I lived in Connecticut. I had a cat.

The place was big, too big for one, too expensive for one. I’d never lived with women before. There were two I’d met who lived in an apartment across town; too small for two, too far from work. So, they moved in. I don’t know them very well.

There is one bathroom, I get up in the night to pee. I stand over the toilet and stretch my back as I do, hands-to-hips. I turn. Annie is standing there in the open door, frowning.

“Do you super-man pose while you pee?”

I frown, still half-asleep.

“What?”

Her eyes go wide. “Do all men super-man pose while they pee?”

I put my hands down, not sure what to do with them.

“Close the door!”

She does, slowly. I finish, flush and walk out. Indie, my cat, waits for me outside the door. I shake my head at her, “why did I decide to live with women?” I ask.

She either doesn’t know, or doesn’t feel like telling me. So, I pick her up and head for bed. As I pass by the girl’s room, I see they are up, lights on. The door is open. Gently, I step passed.

“Wait!” Annie calls. I sigh and turn back. I look in. Her and Tessa are both smirking.

“Do you really super-man pose while you pee?” Tessa asks.

I sigh. “No.”

“He does,” Annie interjects.

“I was just tired and holding onto myself,” I tell them.

“Holding onto yourself?” one of them asks.

I nod.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Tessa remarks.

“No, that doesn’t make sense,” Annie agrees.

I look down at my cat.

“Well, at least I put the toilet seat down after,” I tell them.

Annie nods, then they both frown.

“Wait, no you don’t!” they call, but I’m already walking toward my door.

I pet Indie, whispering to her, or myself “I’m never living with women again.”

 

24 comments

  1. A funny story Flash, I had to laugh a lot. And yes, I have to admit girls like to go together to the loo, giggle in the toilette-rooms and tell themselves toilette-stories. Those were certainly two young girls, right? But you can calm down, it will stop as soon as they get older. But it surprises me, that they behaved like this with men, because there is usually an intimate sphere to the other gender. May be you should just have closed the door?

    Liked by 1 person

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