There is No Such Thing as a Grown Up

herpis

We stop in Ohio at what claims to be the largest antique mall in America. Though, in America, anything claiming to be the largest of anything should be taken with the largest grain of salt.

My brother and I finish perusing and loiter around the check-out counter while the woman wraps up a deck of cards for me. There are two big-old buffalo heads mounted to the wall above.

My brother looks up at one of the buffalo, it is a serious looking buffalo–grim, even.

“I–uh, I am sorry sir,” he says in a deep doctoral tone, “you have herpes.”

I look up at the other buffalo, it’s mouth wide open. I gasp, “Oh no!” Then I look to the deer head hanging beside him, she looks stunned, horrified, for some reason. In a girly voice I add, “It was your secretary!”

I gasp, my brother gasps.

The woman behind the counter finishes wrapping up my cards.

“Thank you very much,” I tell her.

She looks from me to my brother. “Mhm,” she says, toneless, limp-eyed. Our mother comes up behind us.

“What’d you get?” she asks.

I hope up my package. “cards.”

My brother points up at Doctor Buffalo, “Look, Ma, Doctor Buffalo just told gasping Buffalo that he has herpes.”

“And Deer-wife is surprised,” I point.

“It was the secretary,” my brother adds. Our mother looks from buffalo, to buffalo, to deer. She bursts out laughing, catching her breath as she places some antique sign onto the counter.

The limp-eyed check-out girl looks at the sign. She looks from my brother, to me, and finally back at our mother.

“Mhm,” she says.

I look over my Mother’s shoulder at the sign she bought. It is yellow.

“There is no such thing as a grown-up,” it says.

Man, did we get a kick out of that. The limp-eyed check-out girl was not impressed.

 

**Just for laughs:

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“Sir, you have herpes.”

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*GASP!*

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“It was your secretary!”

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Photo Credit: MOREBLUEBERRIES (My brother)

Check out more of his photography by clicking HERE

25 Comments

  1. Oh, how I love this one, Flash. It’s so true. I’ve been nominally an adult for many, many years. I have 2 grown up children and 3 grandchildren, but I’m still waiting to be a proper grownup.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Jeees, the photos shows the fun, that the two guys had! Great praise also to Nikita for the beautiful Illu! Poor deer-wife, all the tears in vain … “hey deer-wife!There is no such thing as a grown-up!”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah. I was really happy when my brother told me he got those pictures. he is a great photographer. If you have instagram you can see more of his photos. I left a link at the bottom of the story

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Flash, this story is completely my taste. And somehow I can search and search and find nothing cruel … I thought first the narrator and his brother were adults and I was already very happy,… however At least the mother seems to be on same wavelength with her children … very sympathetic .. also the opinion … “There is no such thing as a grown-up” is worthy to be printed alone! and the best of all, everybody commented in the same direction…12 points go to Flash!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. haha I’m really happy to hear it. Actually this theme of ‘there is no such thing as a grown up’ is the theme of the book Nikita and I have coming out very soon. I hope you enjoy it. It is a different style but the idea is the same.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so right Penny..a friend of mine had 20 years ago to get scared wrinkles. Her motto: “the best remedy against wrinkles is never to laugh again!” … I believe we carry our wrinkles with pride!…Some friends are very different, but good for me make my lessons…and I still love her, think of her on her date of birth, look at photos, although I have no contact anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I know! well we will be posting things on patreon. Nikita and I are kind of trying to figure out what to do next. we both want to do another year but it is a bit exhausting and so we will use some time after our challenge ends to figure out how to do this full time. Our book will come out soon and we are thinking of making comics on patreon. If the book sells and we get enough support there, we can work less and that will give us the time to do this challenge again. If we get the support we need we will do another 365 days starting on January 1st. It’s all up in the air right now. We are in this transition period where the work seems daunting and the finances are starting to become a factor. We want to make an introduction video for patreon and really secure exactly what we want to do there and then we will promote it. But the main idea is to get enough support there that we can do flash for another year and keep the website completely free. While also providing some extra stuff for people there…ahhh. haha I am on vacation right now and i’ve been thinking about it a lot. we want to do something special but we want to do it right. So, patience is key. No matter what, we will be creating some sort of content as time goes on. It might just be something different than what we are doing now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This sounds quite outstanding Flash! Patience is always the key. Good things sometimes need a little more time and effort, but it is more valuable!

        Liked by 1 person

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