Slip Into a Refund


Youth is wasted on the old.

We’d get slipped into them, drink grassy smoothies, work out. Give their bodies the one thing their owners couldn’t; discipline. It wasn’t a bad way to spend your golden years, all things accounted. Sex was encouraged.

At least, that is what we told ourselves. Really, it just wasn’t talked about. Kim opened her legs to show me.

“Ball bearings?”

Kim nodded.

“He has four of them in it.” She shuddered. “It hangs funny.”

I reached out and poked it. It felt like a family of knee-caps.

“I don’t think I want that thing inside me,” I told her. “That’s just wrong.”

“So wrong,” Kim agreed, pulling up her shorts.

I tried to think of the oddest body modification I’d had to slip into. Nipple piercings, at worst.

“How long are you in him?” I asked, handing Kim an exercise ball. She took it between her legs and started doing crunches.

“Till beach season,” she groaned.

I stopped the squats I’d only just begun.

“Seriously? That is months from now.”

Kim sighed. “Trust-funder.”


“How long are you in this lump,” Kim asked, motioning to my slip. It wasn’t an attractive one. I didn’t look down.

“Three weeks. She wants me to take thirty pounds off it by then. Thirty! I’m starving in this thing.”

Kim raised an eyebrow and motioned to her crotch.

“Right,” I admitted, “you win.”

We moved onto the tread-mills, they were nice, new. Everything always was. Kim’s slip had a blue tracker; a well-paying, returning customer. Meant he could do just about anything he wanted to her body while he was in it; though, they almost always just slept and ate.

“What if he puts ball-bearings in your vagina?” I wondered aloud. Kim’s face soured. She slowed her pace, not looking over.

“I’ll make him eat them,” she said, finally, seriously. I laughed.

“It’d probably just fall off. You’re what now, eighty?”

Kim nodded. “Eighty three,” then added, “but my vagina never turned thirty.”

We both had a good laugh at that.

I noticed two administrators heading our way. “Better get running,” I told Kim. She upped the pace. But, they weren’t there for her.

“If you see my body, check if that pervert has done anything to my lady-bits when they switch you back!” she’d called after me.

But, I never got that chance. It seemed my body had given out on the woman using it. Heart attack, they said. Not dead yet, they said.

“We’ll have to slip you back before it expires.”

That was the last thing they said.  I didn’t argue when they did it. It felt like putting on wet pants. The old bones sagged under the weight of my soul.

I opened my eyes, stayed alive just long enough to watch the woman I’d been slipped into, furious, crying out for a refund.


18 thoughts on “Slip Into a Refund

    1. Awesome. Thank you. I had this all mapped out a while ago as a much longer story but then when I started writing it I realized it didn’t need too much in order to say what I wanted to say.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha Yeah. I am glad. I love weird. I particularly like the simple acceptance of weird within stories. Having characters that sort of exist normally in a world of weird. Because really, that is kind of how life feels a lot of the time.


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