The Thousandth Time


Robert walked the main hall of his house; a cape style, blue. Something caught his eye. A picture from his best friend’s bachelor party, years back. He frowned at it, took it off the wall.

“What the hell?” He asked the picture. It only continued, stoically, to celebrate. He brought the picture into the kitchen then, hesitantly, picked up the phone.

The ringing stopped with a click, “Bob?”

“Yeah, hey Greg,” Robert tried to think of how to phrase his question.

“Everything alright Bob?”

Robert looked at the picture again. “Hm, yeah, I’ve just been looking at this old picture of us.”

“Which one is that?”

“Your bachelor party, the one they took before we headed out.”

There was a pause on the other end.


A shuffling answered.


“Yeah, got it right here. That was a good day.”

“Mhm,” Robert agreed, “well, this is going to sound a bit strange but, I mean, I know we’ve known each other a long time, and I know I must have looked at this picture close to a thousand times, but I just kind of noticed something.”

Greg didn’t respond. Robert continued.

“Are you a lizard, Greg?”

Through the phone, Greg sighed.


“Yeah Bob.”


“Yeah, Bob, I’m a lizard.”

“Oh,” Robert felt uncomfortable, he pushed the photo away. He sat down, suddenly feeling guilty.

“You know, it doesn’t matter man. I just kind of noticed. We’ve known each other a long time and I just never realized it. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s fine, Bob.”

“No, sorry, it was stupid.”

“Really, it’s fine.”

Robert didn’t push it. He felt stupid.

“Does–does Susan know?”

Greg made a noise, a frustrated noise, like the click of a lock.

“Does my wife know I’m a lizard?” he said, softly.


“Yeah Bob, she knows.”

“Of course, of course.”

“Yeah, of course.” It sounded like eyes rolling.

Robert stood up. “Look Greg, it doesn’t matter to me. You know, sometimes I can just be in my own head. I guess it just never registered. But, it’s all good.”

“Mhm,” Greg intoned.

“So, uh, how are things going with Susan anyways?” Robert tried.

“I’ve got to go Bob.”

“Right, of course. Sorry Greg.”

“Yeah, it’s alright.”

“We should catch up soon?”

“Sure, Bob, sure.”

8 replies to “The Thousandth Time

  1. ‘ “What the hell?” He asked the picture. It only continued, stoically, to celebrate.’
    What a brilliant line!
    What an entertaining story!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. Glad you think so. It actually came into my head while I was reading a CK Chesterson novel. He says at some point that when you see something for the thousandth time is the first time you really see it. So, that stuck in my head and it came out as this story.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Chesterton’s work is excellent. The whimsical and far-fetched nature of your stories reminds me of his writing.

        Liked by 1 person

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