A vast field opened up before him. He looked around, left, right. He frowned. In the distance, dogs barked. He began walking. For a long while, he walked before seeing anything. Then, straight ahead, he found the source of the barking.
A Boston terrier rolled about in the grass. Frank approached it. He clapped his hands gently.
“Hey boy,” he said. The Boston terrier stopped rolling. It turned to look at him.
“Hey there buddy,” Frank continued getting closer. “Where the hell am I? Huh?” he said in a light tone. The Boston Terrier was frozen in place. Then, without warning, it dashed off, barking like mad. Frank straightened up, frowning after the dog.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked the cool breeze. It didn’t respond so, Frank walked. It was only minutes later that the ground began to shake. The grass cowered against the mob of dogs that came from Frank’s left. Frank didn’t move.
When they got close enough, he realized how un-friendly they looked. He began running. As soon as he turned to run, he realized his escape attempt was fruitless. Dogs poured over the field on all sides. Frank stood, raising his hands in the air.
A minute later he was encircled by a sea of fur and teeth.
“Uh,” Frank managed, hands still up. One of the dogs stepped forward, a great mastiff.
“What are you doing here?” It said without a hint of trouble.
“Woah,” was all Frank could say. The Mastiff pawed the ground and growled.
“I repeat, what are you doing here!” it demanded.
“I, uh, you, hm. I died. But, what is going on? I’m sorry. I am just as confused as you.”
Frank put his hands down. A growl from behind him made him raise them again.
“This is not your heaven,” The Mastiff said.
Frank looked around. “Yeah, yeah, I gathered that. What do you want me to do about it?”
“Leave,” The Mastiff growled, simply.
Frank scratched his own head. “Yeah, about that, I uh, don’t really know how I got here. I can’t, I guess.”
A chiwawa stepped out from the circle. It looked up at Frank. “We have suffered your kind in life. This is our reward. We can pee whenever, wherever we want. Food is plentiful. The cool grass scratches our bellies. And, here is no such thing as scraps!”
A few dogs in the crowd howled appreciatively.
“Stuff him in a purse!” a white Pomeranian cried from behind the Mastiff.
Frank felt himself choking back a laugh. The chiwawa walked closer to him.
“You think this is funny human? Would you like to put a choke collar on me? Maybe we should put you in a collar. Huh? I think we should eat him and be done with it!”
Frank stopped laughing. He backed away from the chiwawa. The Mastiff stepped forward.
“We put it to a vote!” He cried, “all those in favor of helping the human find his way out of this place, in peace!”
There was a shuffling of fur in the wind, yet, not a sound was made. The Mastiff looked sad.
“Very well,” he muttered. He turned to Frank, “I am sorry for—“
But Frank never heard what the Mastiff was sorry for. The sky broke open. A middle-eastern man in white robes descended. He landed next to Frank. He brushed off his robes.
“Hey!” he said, smiling and giving Frank a little wave.
“Uh-huh,” Frank told him. The man gave frank a thumbs up and turned to face the crowd.
“My apologies pooches!” The Crowd of dogs began humming with fury. “My bad. Dropped this poor soul off in the wrong spot. No offense, I do hope. I’ll be off with him now. If you have any complaints you can make them to your representative at the head office.”
The man grabbed Frank by the arm.
“They never make complaints,” he whispered. “No thumbs,” he added, wiggling his own and giggling. Frank took one last look at the Chiwawa, a hatred deeper than emptiness poured from its eyes. Frank shrugged, then, vanished.