M The Great and Powerful

I walk to the kitchen in my underwear. I put the kettle on and light a cigarette. I turn.

“Ah!” I cry out.

“Ah!” The Pirate, sitting at my kitchen table, responds, in Russian. I drop my cigarette. Belly, M’s dog, comes running over, suspecting a boon.

“Shit, No!” I bend down and snatch the cigarette up. Belly glares at me. I look back at the Pirate.

“Who the hell are you!” I demand.

“Magic!” he says, nervously. He picks up a coin and snaps it up his sleeve. “Abrah-kadabrah!” he says, in a thick accent.

I stare at him. I look at Belly. Belly looks at my cigarette. The kettle whistles. The toilet flushes. M steps out of the bathroom. He calls into the kitchen, “Will you pour me a cup of coffee?”

I turn off the stove without turning around. I point my cigarette at the pirate.

“You, don’t move.”

He holds up his hands, like in the movies. I walk out to the hall. I look in the bathroom. M is combing his hair.

“M?”

he turns.

“M, there is a pirate in the kitchen.”

M’s eyes go wide. “What!?”

“A damn pirate. No joke.”

M gets an excited look. He walks eagerly into the kitchen. I walk in behind him. He looks at the man sitting at the table. The man says something to him in Russian.

He turns to me, a disappointed look on his face, “I thought you said there was a pirate?”

“You must be joking?” I point to the pirate.

M frowns. “He’s a magician. He’s here to train me.”

I look at the pirate.  He snaps his fingers and a coin appears. “Abrah-kadabrah!” he grins, two teeth, left of his front, are missing.

“See,” M says, then sighs, “man, you got me excited.”

He slumps down in the seat across from the magician. The magician pulls out a deck of cards. He tucks one card up his sleeve. I sigh and turn my attention to the kettle. I make myself a tea, M a coffee. I turn, both in hand. The magician has his whole hand pushed straight through the center of our cheap IKEA table.

“What the—“ I drop the coffee onto the floor. The Magician looks at me, looks at the coffee. He winks. The coffee cup pulls itself back together, drinks up the liquid and then sits on the floor, steaming. I look to M.

M shrugs. The magician smiles.

“Abrah-Kadabrah!” he says.

“How in the hell did he do that?”

M shrugs again.

I turn to the magician.

“How the hell did you do that?”

He screws up his face, thinking. The face of a man hunting down a word.

“Aha!” he says. He wags his finger, obviously proud of himself.

“Luck,” he says.

For Part II, click here

30 comments

      • I’ve nearly caught up with the posts you posted prior to me finding your blog and off the top of my head I think there was one Frank story I was disappointed with. I read those in a cluster over Christmas/New Year so it may be I didn’t read it properly. I’ll let you know when I reread them. Nearly four months of work to such a ridiculous standard… I reread your blowfish one today and it’s so clever, good and funny. I hope your proud of what you’ve done so far because even if you stopped today you’ve got a brilliant collection that people will keep returning to and new readers will discover. And the artwork! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. haha, well very interesting that the magician says “luck” …; ) … a pirate as a magician … hmm..I hope that there is no mutiny and plunder. Now this residential community becomes interesting again. Who lives there really ? The narrator, his girlfriend Y, then N, there was a Q, I think also some time, and now a M? When did the narrator and Y know each other before or in Russia?

    Liked by 1 person

    • ah okay so this series is from a while ago. M was a character in my stories for a long time. About the first half of the year. You’ve been reading mostly the later stories but if you go back to day 1 it starts off with M and N and it progresses from there. Y and the narrator only met in Russia. So originally there was M and N. Now there is Y and N and Q. To be fair, they are all based on real people so it progresses in that fashion.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, I discovered your blog only after the first half year and need a lot of time to read everything. Now I am very anxious and will look for the stories of the flat-sharing-characters. Why is the narrator at all in Russia, or is this a secret?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha well it is kind of an ongoing joke. The narrator doesn’t really know why he is in russia. He just likes it. The thing is that most of the stories I write are either true or based on real events. So a lot of the narrators thoughts are my own. And I don’t know why I am in russia. I am a freelance editor and tutor so I can work pretty much anywhere in the world but I stay in russia because I like it. There is no big reason that keeps me here other than y and n

      Liked by 1 person

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