The preschool had a Christmas play. At the end, Russian Santa gave the students all a bag of gifts. I am sitting in the play-room as the children riffle through their bags.
A small boy named H, who speaks English well, walks up to me holding a fake chicken.
“Marf-marf-marf,” he says, poking me with the beak of the toy chicken. It is actually rather sharp. And, it actually rather hurts.
“Stop that H. That isn’t the sound it makes.”
“Yes, it is. Marf-marf-marf.” He begins stabbing me once more.
“No, chickens go cluck-cluck.”
“Not a chicken,” H says, “it’s a cock.”
I feel a tickle in my throat. I cough. It’s only been a couple weeks since the incident. I try to avert catastrophe. It’s not even a rooster this time.
“Okay, yes, a cock. Good, go play with your—“ I feel myself smiling. I force a frown.
The pressure in my chest increases.
“My cock? Marf-marf-marf” H says.
“Mhm” I manage. I can feel a wiggling in my throat like a stuck cough drop.
“You play with my cock with me?”
I shake my head vigorously.
The lump in my throat grows bigger. I feel like I am chocking. H starts stabbing me with the fake chicken again.
“My cock is biting you. Marf-marf-marf!”
I open my mouth to tell him to stop but instead the sopping wet bloody head of a twelve-year-old boy forces itself out past my lips. It tastes of iron.
It bursts out laughing.
Strings of its hair are stuck in my two front teeth. H is staring at me. Horror in his eyes. I panic. I chomp down. The head falls to the floor. It doesn’t stop laughing. I scoop it up and put my hand over its mouth. It starts licking my hand. I hold it tight to my chest.
I look at H. He is crying. I put a bloody finger to my lips.
“Shh.” I tell him. I stand up and make for the door. A teacher opens it.
“Oh, Hello,” she says smiling.
“Hi.”
“Did you see Santa Clause brought all the students cocks?”
The head wriggles between my fingers. The teacher looks down at my blood-soaked hands.
“What is that!” she asks. I open my hands guiltily.
The laughter rings around the room.
THE END
This story is a sequel of sorts to The Big Beautiful Cock. Click the picture below to check it out:
What an awkward situation. They should make that boy put his cock away.
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I never did when I was a boy. What is more important, discipline or hypocrisy?
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I’m not sure. I’d say, whatever keeps you out of jail.
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It’s Russia. Keeping out of jail is half the game.
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You should have shoved that cock up his ass.
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I had a feeling this would be a nod towards The Big Beautiful Cock 😂 Nicely done! You can’t beat a good cheap laugh sometimes
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Haha. For sure. The best present santa could have gotten them. I actually remember the moment a student said “no, it’s my cock” and I thought… well fuck, I’m going to have to write about this now.
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Yikes – it’s based on a true story?! Oh, the hell of words with multiple meanings
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Crazy 😀 something similar to what i have written here
https://orangedilipan.wordpress.com/2016/12/21/daffy-puking-duck/
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Nice. I’ll check it out when I get to my computer.
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sure thanks!
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Mmmmm
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